Recover from your addiction and rediscover your authentic self.
Do you need help halting your substance abuse? NOWCOVERY™ is NOT a program. It is a way of living based on several principles. Some of which are behavioral and some that are biblical.
NOWCOVERY™ has developed and evolved from the experience and knowledge I have gained from over 15 years of studying people who have overcome substance abuse or addiction, many with dual diagnoses (substance abuse disorder and a mental health disorder). It’s truly about learning HOW to live a new way. With the help of God and Nowcovery, you CAN move forward into a new life by making optimal choices in the moment, in the NOW. You can build a life that you can thrive in SOBER and free from addictions.
1. Living life authentically is the goal. To live authentically, we cannot be under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. For us (people with substance use disorders) alcohol and other drugs stunt (or end) our lives.
God has a plan and a purpose for you! We must be sober to be able to step into that purpose. Ephesians 2:10, Romans 13:13, Jeremiah 29:11
Principle number one of Nowcovery is built upon the need for humans to live meaningful and fulfilling lives. So many of us have spent a lifetime running away from authenticity because to be authentic means you must know yourself. To know yourself you must develop a self-concept. If we came from a family in which we had an alcoholic parent (or two) there is a good chance that our self-concept
A. Developed by what we were guessing (not knowing) might be healthy.
B. Developed with a self-deprecating focus.
And/or
C. Was demolished by guilt and shame when our drinking became problematic.
When we are abusing substances, we are out of touch with reality. We are literally under the influence of a substance/s that alters our brain chemistry to create false feelings which causes behavior that creates false realities.
For example, when we drink heavily, we might lose our inhibition and feel lustful towards someone. This might cause us to have sexual relations with that person when we are in a committed relationship with someone else. The false reality is created in our brain that makes us believe we aren’t hurting anyone, or that no one will find out. In the morning, we wake up mortified over what we have done.
When under the influence of substances, we do things that do not truly reflect who we want to be, or who we are when sober. Many people enjoy the initial effects of the lowering of inhibitions because it feels like freedom. But in time and with excessive drinking/using those behaviors that feel like freedom turn to guilt, shame, and remorse.
When we are operating with guilt, remorse, and shame we want to hide and lie to save ourselves embarrassment. We hide from ourselves, and others, and we lie to ourselves and others. It is not possible to live an authentic life when we are carrying this burden of dishonesty and behaving in ways that are outside of our moral compass. Shame keeps us sick and hidden away. It keeps us lonely and that’s exactly where Satan wants us to be so he can continue to lie to us so we destroy ourselves.
I remember when I was drinking heavily I couldn’t look myself in the eye due to my guilt, remorse, and shame. When I was putting my makeup on or doing my hair, I avoided making eye contact with myself. If I did try to gaze into my own eyes, I would get an eerie feeling of a stranger looking back at me. “Who is that person in there?!”, I would think to myself. (I now believe that I was gazing at my disappointed spirit.) As far as I was concerned, when I was drinking my hope was to never really have to learn who I truly was. In fact, the goal was to never have to know and to never have to do the hard work of figuring out what I stood for. How sad it would have been if I never recovered, and it will be sad if you don’t either.
What do we do if we never developed a sense of self? What do we do if we are sober now but have no idea who we are? It’s ok, so many people start from that point when starting recovery. Early recovery is full of opportunities to start exploring new activities (you won’t feel like doing them, but you have to force yourself, more on this in another blog) that will help us to develop into our full authentic selves. We can also look to God for direction on who we are. Let’s examine the bible verses listed in Principle #1.
Ephesians 2:10 tells us “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do a good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” We are a beautiful creation made by God. “Handiwork” is something that was created lovingly and painstakingly, and with great precision. This does not sound like we do not have a purpose in our life. This sounds like God planned something very specific for us to do during our lifetime. MANY things!
Did you notice that the verse states “…created in Christ Jesus to do a good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”? That is mind-blowing! God actually prepared in advance a need for us to fill, and then created us to fill the need. This means that if we don’t do our part that need it could go unfulfilled. Someone may be left wanting or needing because we were created to help them, and we never stepped into the plan. That’s heartbreaking! But it’s also inspirational and empowers us to do our best to align with God’s plan so no one is left wanting or needing. Just as God created us to fill a need, he created others to fulfill our needs.
Think about how different our lives could have been if people hadn’t shown up for us. Perhaps people didn’t show up for us when we were really in need, and we recognize the pain caused in our lives by that lack. God is amazing in how he has developed us all to work interdependently for each other. We are needed, and we need others.
Another way to learn who we are is by understanding that God gives us spiritual gifts and talents so that we can fulfill his purpose for our lives. He creates us, his handiwork, to do good works and he equips us with what we need to do that work. This could mean creating beautiful art. Writing lovely songs. Singing with a stunning voice. Loving people who are hurting by listening to them share about their hurts. Helping to heal someone's loneliness by sitting with them in the park enjoying a sunny day, encouraging someone to chase their dream, and innumerable others. The number and types of gifts we have been given are many and God will be sure we know what they are. He will let us know what our gifts are by our natural talents, and also by what others notice about our strengths, what we enjoy doing, or an innate “knowing” we have about what feels “right” or “natural” inside of us.
Sadly, chances are we will waste our gifts or miss our messages if we are under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. How can we hear God when we are out of our minds from alcohol or other drugs? Or, maybe we might manage to hear God, but are too incapacitated to take action how will we ever be of service? We won’t, at least not consistently enough to feel like we are both fulfilled and fulfilling. One thing any of us who have lived through addiction knows without a doubt is that it is the most unfulfilling and depressing thing to go through. God has the complete opposite waiting for us! A complete identity in Jesus awaits us and this will lead us to true FREEDOM.
Romans 12:13-14 states, “Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” When we are wasting our lives abusing substances, we are acting in a way that isn’t pleasing to God and is not part of his plan. The desire of the flesh, the desire to obliterate our minds, won’t give us any identity or freedom. Substances only take away, they never give.
This news isn’t surprising to us. It’s very common knowledge when we are living life that way that it feels wrong, and is a waste. We must decide that no matter what happens we aren’t going to drink or use other substances. By asking Jesus to clothe us in him, it means we will be covered by him. We can continually remind ourselves that Jesus is covering us and keeping us separate from the sin that is trying to destroy us. We must always remember how quickly we will be devoured by our addiction if we decide to throw Jesus’s covering off. This is why we cannot allow ANY reason to be a good enough excuse to use substances ever again.
Romans 12:13-14 also talks about our thinking. Our thinking controls our actions, and our actions define who we are. Part of addiction is obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior. Alcoholics Anonymous refers to this as “stinkin’ thinkin”. The brain is very involved in the disease of addiction. The brain's reward system becomes dysfunctional from repeated exposure to alcohol or other drugs (conditioning). The conditioning of the brain occurs from the high levels of pleasure-creating neurotransmitters that alcohol or other drugs create in the pleasure center. The brain craves these pleasure-creating neurotransmitters and will induce obsessive thinking which is designed to make you engage in compulsive drinking or other drug use. This process is often referred to as the brain being “hijacked” because the normal functioning of the reward system has been taken over by this dysfunctional process. The bible reminds us “Do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh”.
Have you ever tried NOT to think about something? Of course, it’s impossible to think your way out of this dilemma. What you can do is pray, ask God to help you not to drink or use drugs, and then get involved in your life by choosing positive activities so you distract yourself from the obsession and compulsion. It’s not fun and it’s not easy but in time it will become much more natural. Eventually, it becomes AWESOME and exciting.
If substance abuse is controlling us, our authentic selves have become dormant or underdeveloped. Nowcovery™ healing principle #1 can help us to stay focused on the goal of authentic living through sobriety. When practiced fully, Jesus can bring to light our true selves and create a wonderful life with rich experiences.